BLENDED FAMILIES
WARNING SIGNS
The following are
signs (in either the parent or teen) that additional help may be needed,
perhaps from a professional counselor or family therapist:
• Feels torn between two parents or two households.
• Feels excluded. Feels alone in dealing with his/her losses. Feels
isolated by guilt and anger. Feels unsure about what is right.
• Feels very uncomfortable with a member of his/her original or
blended family.
• Directs anger upon a particular family member or openly resents
another family
member.
• Parent suffers from great stress and is unable to help meet the
needs of one or
more of the teens.
SUGGESTIONS FOR PARENTS
Reassure your teen
that the divorce/death
was not their fault and invite questions and
discussion. Start talking about the possibility of blending your family
long before a new marriage. Typically, teens hope for reconciliation;
once they realize they are suffering a loss during divorce/death, they
may be vocal about not wanting this new family. Assure them they will
continue to have a relationship with the non-live-in parent.
Allow bonds with
new family members to
evolve slowly; give your teens the time to adjust to the new situation.
Spend time with each teen and stepchild to help establish a sense of belonging
and new traditions.
Let your stepchildren decide what they want to call you. Their comfort
level is important. Meet with them to mutually select a name, don’t
expect your stepchildren to call you mom or dad.
Establish a unified parenting approach that is evenly applied to everyone. Demonstrate that the new couple is in charge.
Make alone time with
your spouse. Raising
teens is a challenge. A strong marriage will
help you blend families together.
For
more information:
http://www.stepfamilies.info/faqs/myths.php
